2, How has and does this malady effect my life

Step One - We admitted that we were powerless over food - that our lives had become unmanageable.

2. How has and does this malady affect my life not just physically, but emotionally and spiritually as well?

I want to focus on the here and the now; not on the what was or what should have been. I know that my physical well being is improving but still not where it should be. Actually I realize that it will never be where 'it should be' because of the destructive behavior that I have had over time. My heart isn't as healthy as it would have been without my selfish eating behaviors; being unable to walk or do exercise is debilitating.

My hope is that I will soon be back in a place that allows for my walking greater distances. I recall that when I turned 55 I walked 10 miles on that birthday. That was a significant achievement for me. Walking to the Old Adobe and back - wow. Would I even consider that now?

Emotional deficiency due to this malady - I am happier now that I have been in many months. I feel like I have a reason to live now. I don't want to focus on the past but I know that at one point I was ready to end it all. But when I was living to eat my emotional state was a complete disaster.

Spiritually - I don't have a close relationship with my God. I know that he loves me and wants the best for me and I know that he has given me the choices that I have made. Would that I could be say to him - take this away, this overriding desire to eat and believe that he would. I suppose if you don't ask, he won't do it. Isn't that the reason for prayer? To ask and hope that God will listen?